big fan was a great movie. it just came out on dvd the other day, and you really should see it if you haven't. patton oswalt is shockingly excellent, and i say that having gone into the film knowing he was going to be awesome, yet i was STILL shocked! that's how good he is!

the dvd has some great special features, the highlight of which is patton and writer/director robert siegel chatting with aint it cool news dude capone in chicago for a half hour or so. during the interview, patton confirms that he is the man behind neill cumpston, the absolute greatest movie reviewer ever. you should read every one of his reviews, linked right over here.

on GRINDHOUSE: "not only was it a shotgun full of handjobs exploding in my balls, but also my balls suddenly knew how to make fire using karate. All from seeing GRINDHOUSE, a movie that’s made of screaming car crash zombie boobs."

on X2 (aka X MEN KICKING YOU IN THE BALLS SO HARD THAT YOU PUKE ON YOUR BALLS AND ALSO YOUR ASS): "Remember how the first film had all that Story (= for gays) in the first part, and you were like, “How ‘bout some ass-kicking already?” and then finally they got to it? Not this one. It’s like okay, there’s the credits, and now here’s the ass-kicking and it starts and doesn’t stop and you’re all like, “Pants, meet shit”."

on SIN CITY: "I was thinking that after this movie comes out, they should change the “PAUSE” button on DVD remote controls to read “CARLA GUGINO’S BOOBS”, which would be more accurate."

on DAWN OF THE DEAD: "There’s those three different levels of good movies, you know, where it starts out on: LEVEL ONE: THE RUNDOWN = Taco Bell double-decker tacos. LEVEL TWO: XMEN 2 = That LOST IN TRANSLATION chick eating a double-decker taco slow. LEVEL THREE: DAWN OF THE DEAD (today version) = You eat a Taco Bell double-decker taco and you get to watch a dump truck crash into a Humvee full of jocks, and then the LOST IN TRANSLATION chick runs by naked."

this goes on and on and on and on (AND ON AND ON). if you have watched any movie ever, you more than owe it to yourself to read every word committed to ones and zeroes by this man.

EDIT: whoops! apparently the whole patton/neill connection has been known for a little while now thanks to rolling stone.

as i've said many times before, patton oswalt is the greatest living comedian. bar-none. debate it and you'll basically end up looking like a small child who has never heard anyone say anything funny ever. g'head. give it a try.

anyway, just in time for christmas, music/comedy nerd gods chunklet are not only packaging the complete, unedited 2 hour and 22 minute performance that eventually became patton's first album with two other tour only cds, but they're giving a big fuck you to making you pay for shipping.

20 bucks. no shipping. 3 hours of some of the best of the best standup of the past decade spread across three cds with special guest spots from zach galifianakis, maria bamford, eugene mirman, and brian posehn.

here's half an hour of patton getting insanely drunk on top shelf scotch set to a piano soundtrack by zach g. you're welcome. go buy some shit.

Patton Vs. Alcohol Vs. Zach Vs. Patton

patton oswalt. set to animation john kuramoto and brian muskoff, the latter of which doesn't quite get the whole internet thing yet.

also, is this not the GREATEST COMEDY POSTER EVER?



if anyone's interested, feel free to check the original clip below which begs the question: anyone else remember when rob lowe comitted statutory rape? or how about when he accidentally banged that prostitute on the west wing?

mike 2600 and king otto of burlesque design outta the twin cities, put together this, their third annual halloween mix of old school tunes. like, really old school. listening to this is actually my idea of a great way to spend haloween even if there's actually not anything exceptionally halloween related on here.

mike the 2600 king & king otto: monster mash 2009


these are the same design dudes behind the do it to it eps i've gone on and on about in the past. remember them? no?





also, these are the dudes behind the wigged out covers of patton oswalt's super limited (500!) feelin kinda patton vinyl. pick up a slick as hell screenprint of the unfolded cover for 30 bucks plus shipping if that's your bag.

fun fact: every time you eat a steak, a hippie's hacky sack goes in the gutter. totally goes double if you get it cooked rare.

slayer: angel of death (american, 1986)


also i have an extra-cool b'more remix from dj ayres that i don't think i'll ever have the stadium-sized balls to actually ever play in a set.

slayer: angel of death (punchemindaface part 2)(dj ayres remix)

because of THIS:

Patton Oswalt: Robert Evans/The Sadness Ends (Chunklet, 2004)


i watched THIS:



and you should too. it's exactly like patton tells it as.

while we're on the topic of patton, fella's got a new movie coming out and i'd be a pretty shitty blogger (well, it'd make me look shittier than i actually am i guess) if i let it go unmentioned. writer director robert siegel has a pretty sterling track record so far (wrote the wrestler and formerly edited the onion), so i say go for it.



extra-special super-redundant BONUS!



i am soooo on the look out for the audio book.