with a boot made of burning meat

Friday, January 15, 2010 by Chris

big fan was a great movie. it just came out on dvd the other day, and you really should see it if you haven't. patton oswalt is shockingly excellent, and i say that having gone into the film knowing he was going to be awesome, yet i was STILL shocked! that's how good he is!

the dvd has some great special features, the highlight of which is patton and writer/director robert siegel chatting with aint it cool news dude capone in chicago for a half hour or so. during the interview, patton confirms that he is the man behind neill cumpston, the absolute greatest movie reviewer ever. you should read every one of his reviews, linked right over here.

on GRINDHOUSE: "not only was it a shotgun full of handjobs exploding in my balls, but also my balls suddenly knew how to make fire using karate. All from seeing GRINDHOUSE, a movie that’s made of screaming car crash zombie boobs."

on X2 (aka X MEN KICKING YOU IN THE BALLS SO HARD THAT YOU PUKE ON YOUR BALLS AND ALSO YOUR ASS): "Remember how the first film had all that Story (= for gays) in the first part, and you were like, “How ‘bout some ass-kicking already?” and then finally they got to it? Not this one. It’s like okay, there’s the credits, and now here’s the ass-kicking and it starts and doesn’t stop and you’re all like, “Pants, meet shit”."

on SIN CITY: "I was thinking that after this movie comes out, they should change the “PAUSE” button on DVD remote controls to read “CARLA GUGINO’S BOOBS”, which would be more accurate."

on DAWN OF THE DEAD: "There’s those three different levels of good movies, you know, where it starts out on: LEVEL ONE: THE RUNDOWN = Taco Bell double-decker tacos. LEVEL TWO: XMEN 2 = That LOST IN TRANSLATION chick eating a double-decker taco slow. LEVEL THREE: DAWN OF THE DEAD (today version) = You eat a Taco Bell double-decker taco and you get to watch a dump truck crash into a Humvee full of jocks, and then the LOST IN TRANSLATION chick runs by naked."

this goes on and on and on and on (AND ON AND ON). if you have watched any movie ever, you more than owe it to yourself to read every word committed to ones and zeroes by this man.

EDIT: whoops! apparently the whole patton/neill connection has been known for a little while now thanks to rolling stone.

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